what is your presence in the world?


It is not about where you are or what you do, it is about who you are when you’re there.

I have been thinking a lot lately about the idea of presence. Who we choose to BE in the world.

Our daily lives are dominated by WHAT’S. 

What do I want to be when I grow up? 

What do I do for a living? 

What type of person do I want to marry? 

What car will make me look successful? 

What do I want for dinner? 

What. What. What. 

But what about WHO?

Who do I want to be?

Who am I really? 

Somewhere along the way who we are seems to get lost in what we are supposed to be doing. 

We morph into a completely different version of our self, that bends and breaks to fit into the pressures of life around us. And our truest self - our purest, bravest, most powerful presence is muted and hidden. 

So what can we do about it? 

I challenge you to reignite the desire within yourself to align with who you really are, and who you really want to be - rather than who you think you are supposed to be.

Start with some questions: 

What is frustrating me about my life right now?

What am I disappointed in right now?

What bugs me the most about my current situation? 

What mental & emotional (and maybe physical) pain have I caused myself because of these ongoing frustrations? 

What am I willing to change? 

What action can I begin to take RIGHT NOW?

What do I want?

What do I REALLY want? As the truest, bravest, most powerful version of myself? 

Who am I? 

Who am I REALLY? 

Once we are able to get clear on who we truly are - and who we want to be - the WHAT’s become a little less relevant. 

If we are able to step into the truest version of ourselves - what we are doing really doesn’t matter, as long as it aligns with WHO we want to be. 

WHAT no long becomes a single idea. 

When we know WHO we want to be, it opens up the possibility of so many WHAT’s that fit into our truest WHO. 

So…who do you want to be?

are you fully self expressed?


Am I fully self expressed?
Have I been watering my true self down? 

To fit into a box? To satisfy my “should’s"? To meet someone else’s expectations?

How many of us are fully self expressed? And how many of us have been trampled and forced to retreat from the pressures of everyday life? 

I definitely was not. I was trying to create a life based on what I thought I was supposed to be doing. I was trying to box myself in to the most perfect container that everyone would idolize from the outside. 

But the truth is that on the inside I was in agony. Completely lost and misunderstood - mostly by myself. 

It wasn’t until I really started asking myself what I actually wanted from life that things started to shift. 

What did I really enjoy? What were my deepest passions? 

What lit me up inside? What filled me up?

And the truth is that it led me down a completely different path. A less glamorous path from the outside looking in. But a far more fulfilling path from the inside looking out. 

I wonder how many of us are watering our true selves down
to fit in
or make others happy. 

Are you stuck in a career you hate because it is prestigious and you make good money? 

Are you utterly and completely exhausted from trying to be everything to everyone, every second of the day?

Have you lost sight of the #smalljoys in life that fill you up because you simply don’t make time for them anymore amongst your ever growing to-do list? 

Have you become a bland, lesser version of who you could be because you are trying to be everything to everyone all of the time? 

Without stopping, and taking the time to realize who we actually are, we spend our days living someone else’s life. A life created, molded, trimmed and smashed to fit into other people’s demands, expectations and desires. 

But the good news is that we don’t have to live this way. 

At any point we can stop. And make the choice to start living our fullest, truest, most authentic life. 

Are you ready to stop watering down your truest self?
Lets begin.

have you taken stock of your life?


It is only when our life is in true alignment with our values, needs, wants, and passions that we can feel that we have true purpose, fulfillment and power.

When is the last time you took stock of your life?

And not just the stuff in your life. Although analyzing the things you surround yourself with on a regular basis is so important.

But when is the last time you took stock mentally?

When is the last time you stopped to see what was working and what wasn't. What was filling your cup and what was draining it?

We spend so much of our lives in motion that we rarely ever STOP and take time to check in. In this state of perpetual motion - how can we really know what is going on internally with ourselves?

Our lives are designed to move at an alarming rate. And not only that - but we are consumed by consumption. Information is constantly going in - but we rarely take time to pull anything out.

Lately I have been reflecting on this concept of taking stock a lot in my own life.
Both physical and mental.

Physically taking stock of my:

But also mentally taking stock:
What is draining me?
What is filling me up?
What do I need to remove?
What do I need to remain?
What am I curious about right now?
Do I feel fulfilled? {Emphasis on the FULL}

I find that it is easier to take physical stock of life
Perge the clothes that don’t fit anymore, or are worn out. Donate unnecessary furniture or belongings to free up space. Clean up your refrigerator to lose those few pounds that have been hanging around.

But when it comes to taking stock mentally - we just do not make it a priority.

Who really has the time to check in with their mental and emotional state on a regular basis?

Unfortunately very few of us feel that we do. Even though regular mental check-ins could save us years of worry, stress, doubt, fear, and un-fulfillment.

You see, it really isn’t your fault. You were never taught to STOP. You were only every taught to keep moving, keep learning, keep pushing forward at all costs to reach greater success, recognition, and financial freedom.

But when we are living a life that is not filling us up mentally and emotionally - all of the stuff that comes from it really doesn’t do us any good.

All of the money, success and fame will mean nothing if we are left empty in the end.

It is only when our life is in true alignment with our values, needs, wants, and passions that we can feel that we have true purpose, fulfillment, and power.

{So…where do we begin?}

Let’s start by taking stock of the stuff in our lives.

If you are not someone who takes stock regularly in your life - I suggest starting with the STUFF. The physical things in your life. It can be a more tangible exercise that will warm you up for the deeper dive into mentally and emotionally taking stock.

For women, your wardrobe is a great place to start. Our closet is a place of great love, and great weight. Feeling like we have too much, yet nothing to wear most of the time.

So here are a few quick questions to ask yourself when clearing out your closet:

  1. Does this make me feel sexy, confident and comfortable {in my experience - if anything doesn’t check these three boxes - it needs to go - because you aren’t going to wear it anyways.}

  2. Does this bring me joy?

  3. Is this part of my personal uniform? The style that helps express who I am. The style that helps me be the best version of myself?

If something does not pass through these questions - it is time to eliminate it from your life.

If you find that you need to add things back in to your wardrobe after a purge - take these questions with you when you go shopping. Make sure you are only buying things that will pass the test. And always remember quality over quantity.

Now that you have finished your wardrobe…


Doesn’t that feel amazing?

Now proceed to do the same thing for all of the stuff in your home. Remember to also consider these questions:

  1. Does this serve an important and vital purpose in my life?

  2. DOES THIS BRING ME JOY {this is arguably the MOST important question when taking stock}

Now lets move on to taking stock mentally and emotionally.

I find that the best place to start is to simply stop….and take a look at your life currently.

Don’t think about what you are going to start tossing out of your life. But take a pause and really look at where things are.

Begin with these 10 questions:

  1. What is currently filling up my cup? What gets me excited and raises my energy?

  2. What is currently draining me? What is sucking the life out of me?

  3. What am I curious about right now? What do I have an itch to explore or learn about?

  4. Do I feel fulfilled?

  5. Do I feel full?

  6. Do I feel complete?

  7. Do I feel POWERFUL?

  8. What am I passionate about and where is it coming into play in my life? {if you are unsure of what you are passionate about right now - proceed back to question #3 and get curious. Curiosity is where everything begins.}

  9. What am I really enjoying right now?

  10. What emotions am I feeling most strongly right now?

Once you have a firm grounding of where things are in your life, take a moment to breathe.

{5 deep breaths, in and out. Slowly. Calmly.}

When we stop to take stock of our lives, especially when we are looking at things from a more mental and emotional perspective - it can be freeing and illuminating. But it can also be heartbreaking and exhausting.

So, always know that you have this space to come back to. So pause. To breath. To remind yourself that you are whole. That you are loved.

And even if your life isn’t going quite to plan right now - everything is figure-out-able. Nothing is set in stone. You will never be stuck. And you always have power over your own life.

Now lets move on to couple simple questions:

  1. What do I want to remove?

  2. What do I want to remain?

  3. What do I want to cultivate?

After really digging into the 10 questions above - this should be the easy part. If you really put in the work - it will be clear to you what you want to remove, remain, and cultivate.

It really comes down to putting in the time, and being honest with yourself.

Because this is just about you. And your life.

This is not about your spouse. This is not about your kids. This is not about your parents. This is not about what anyone else thinks about you, your life, or how they think you should be living it.

No one. And I mean NO ONE - Will ever know how to live your life - better than you.

So if you feel at any point that you haven’t been honest with yourself - go back to your 10 questions. Keep coming back to them as long as you need to. Until you have a true, clear picture of your life. And then HAVE FUN!

Have fun tossing out the things that don’t fill you up. Have fun keeping the ones that do fill you up - without any guilt or shame. And have so much fun realizing what you need to cultivate more of in your life.
And that should be the area you focus most on…

…that which you can now bring into your life, because you have created so much space for it to live and grow.

And in the end…

When all is said and done…

And you have put in the work…

All that remains is what you love.

And this is always the way it should be.

do you want {m o r e ?}


Do you want more?
When do you know it is enough? ⠀

The Mexican Fisherman: ⠀

"The American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. ⠀

Inside the small boat were several large fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. ⠀

The Mexican replied, 'Only a little while.'⠀

The American then asked why he didn't stay out longer and catch more fish. ⠀

The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. ⠀

The American then asked, 'But what do you do with the rest of your time?'⠀

The Mexican fisherman said, 'I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.'⠀

The American scoffed, 'I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat, and with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could eventually buy several boats. Eventually, you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to the middleman, you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small fishing village and move the Mexico City, the LA, and eventually NYC, where you will run your expanding enterprise.' ⠀

The Mexican fisherman asked, 'but how long will this take?'⠀

To which the American replied, '15 to 20 years.'⠀

'But what then?'⠀

The American laughed and said that's the best part. 'When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich; you would make millions.'⠀

'Millions?' asked the fisherman. 'Then what?'⠀

The American said, 'Then you would retire. ⠀Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evening, sip wine, and play guitar with your amigos!'⠀⠀

{ do you know why you want more? }